I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
you made out with another girl for some wings
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
