it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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