You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
