He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
