You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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