Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I would ride that face into the sunset
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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