i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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