Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
