I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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