you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
