so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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