He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
