I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
