i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
