Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
