Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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