Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
