What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
