Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
