This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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