Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
