How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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