...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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