P.S. I can't hear my feet
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
