do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
