she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
