I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
