i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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