i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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