My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
