The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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