'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Boobs speak an international language.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
