I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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