bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
