I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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