i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
