I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
