I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize