yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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