Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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