He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
