...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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