her vagine was all disorganized.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
