dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
No subtext here. People are naked.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
