Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
