i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
