If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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