So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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