So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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