fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
